A Tribute to my Babaji (Grandpa)

As I try to write something here, there is so much I want to say,
But it’s so hard to find the right words to express true feelings.
The only way I can put across my thoughts is by recalling my feelings as I grew.

Babaji - When I was 5:
He is so strict. Always pushes me to study.
Let’s me play, but questions too much.
Scared to show him the report card.
He likes Munna bhai more than us.
Why can’t he scold Tauji and tell him that his mother is my Grandmother and not his?

Babaji – When I was 10:
Wakes me up early and forces me to read maths tables.
What’s the obsession with good handwriting?
What’s with the drinking milk every morning? I don’t want to.
Run upstairs and start studying, the minute I see him on the main gate back from office.
How much is a good score? Everytime he just says, Can do better.

Babaji – When I was 15:
What’s with being punctual and disciplined? Big deal.
What’s with early to bed and early to rise?
What’s wrong in reading novels?
Why should everything be done so perfectly?
Why should I always speak in a low tone and obey everyone around?
Why should everything be spic and span?
Why should I always take permission?

Babaji – When I was 20:
Narrates his childhood stories
Calls me laaddo now :-)
Trusts us more than his sons.
Has given us complete freedom, with the confidence we will never misuse it.
Enjoys talking to us more than anything.
Chats with our friends, like he’s chatting with his friends.
Is upset with R, but I guess both are upset with each other for weird reasons.
Takes our opinions and shares his view point. (Open-house)
Sometimes gets upset with Dad, which he discusses with us.
Became ill and got bed-ridden.

Babaji passed away in 2006. I did not cry, because I felt that I haven’t lost him. I knew he will be with me always in some sort of a habit or thought or act and I do feel him around. Today as I look back, I think about all those habits that he inculcated in me. I realize the meaning of that strictness now. I realize the importance of those talks now. I now see the difference he has made. I understand the value of his presence in my life. I understand the meaning of living life with self-respect now. Those words which he said made little meaning to me as a kid, but today when I recall those same words I see the impact that has made subconsciously.

For me to walk in the right direction I only need to ask myself one question, “Will Babaji be proud of me?” and if the answer is yes then it’s THE direction.